Consecutive Doubles

I've been working and sleeping for the last few weeks, and not much of the latter. Some kid tried to rob me, but I maced him and chased him into a big hole instead. Right now I'm wearing a new shirt I bought yesterday from the Men's department of Village Discount. $1.80! Unfortunately, it buttons on the wrong side, so I think it's probably supposed to be for women. Now I am uncontrollably drawn to the area of the shirt where boobs should be to see if the shirt makes me look like I have boobs. I also got a black knit sweater with purple roses and hearts that makes me look exactly like some sort of camp counselor/child molester.

I'll be working both my jobs on Thanksgiving, hopefully making a lot of money working the coat check at Second City. If people aren't generous, then I don't know what the true meaning of Thanksgiving is. Actually I don't anyway. Turkey? Family? Narrowly surviving a brutal winter due to the generosity of a people you're going to genocide soon? Maybe God intended it to be a mystery.

This years shopping season is supposed to be meager. Sales are supposed to drop by about a third, especially in gifts over $1000, and that tickles me.
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