My Year as a Jerk

I spent New Year's Eve being too nice, covering someone's shift who I didn't really need to. I'd already quit Second City and I was doing it because I vaguely owed somebody for a shift I kind of remembered. I'm extremely vulnerable to guilt trips. Sometimes if you don't lay one on me, I'll lay one on myself. In fact, usually if someone is asking me for an asinine favor in a polite way I'll assume it's for something they did for me I forgot about it. Memory and guilt, those are my two weaknesses. Well, two of my weakness. I also have nervousness, indecisiveness, pale skin, receding hair, general physical weakness, and I'm pretty cranky in general. Also I have this habit of listing my weaknesses. So add low self-esteem. Or high self awareness. Either of which is a weakness.

Anyway, I guilted myself into working on New Years because I vaguely thought I owed it to someone, and that was too nice of me. Never again. This year I'm not being too nice anymore. Example: I said I would also work at Second City today, even though I quit a week and a half ago, they pay peanuts, and don't show me any respect. Ok, bad example... Where was I going with this?... Oh yeah, today, I called in, politely told them I would not be coming in, and made up a lie about why not, saying I am at my other job. So that's step one. Next time I won't even agree to cover more shifts, or I'll agree, and then really screw them by not showing up, then burning down the building instead. I don't see anything too nice about that.

New Year's wasn't a total loss. I popped a bunch of balloons and made a bunch of noise at midnight, hugged some coworkers. That was a good 5 minutes. Granted, that 5 minutes was surrounded by hours and hours of doing dishes on either side, but I'm being positive about this situation. This stupid, horrible, crappy piece of crap situation that I hate and think sucks. But that's over now. So that's something to be positive about. Some stupid, horrible, meaningless thing to be positive about.